


Stupid Fly!

by BeautyAndStrength



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Gender-neutral Reader, Humor, POV First Person, flies, flyswatters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 04:09:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16527059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeautyAndStrength/pseuds/BeautyAndStrength
Summary: Reader is keeping Thor company while Jane and the others are out for the day. However, a couple annoying and uninvited pests decide to pay them a visit.





	Stupid Fly!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not entirely sure when this takes place; either during or after The Dark World.

"What is this incredibly annoying creature?!"   
  
I turned my head with a frown upon hearing Thor's voice coming from the other room.   
  
"Leave me be, you vile thing!"  
  
What was going on in there?  
  
"You cannot defeat the Son of Odin! Stay still already, will you??"  
  
That did it! I had to see what he was doing. Closing the copy of  _Carry On, Mr. Bowditch_ I was reading, I got up off my bed and walked out of the guest room until I found myself in the living room. There I found the Son of Odin standing in the middle of the room with wide eyes and posed in a battle ready stance, as if he was waiting to be attacked by some hidden opponent.  
  
"Um, what's going on in here?" I asked.  
  
Thor turned in my direction and his tense stance softened a bit when he saw me standing in the doorway.  
  
"Ah, (Y/N), I'm relieved to see you," he said. "I need your help. I am being attacked!"  
  
"Attacked?" I asked. "By who, or what?" I nervously looked around, hoping to not find some intruder hidden in the corners.   
  
"Some sort of flying demon!" Thor answered. "It refuses to leave me alone." Suddenly he started swatting the air around his head. "Begone, foul beast!"  
  
That was when I heard the faint buzzing that got momentarily louder before fading off, and I saw the little speck of an insect flying around the room before zeroing in on Thor again. The Asgardian prince ducked before uttering some curse.  
  
"A fly? You're being attacked by a fly?" I asked.  
  
"Is that what you call this thing?" Thor asked.   
  
"Yes." I said. "Wait, don't you have flies on Asgard?"  
  
"Definitely not!" Thor said.  
  
"What about mosquitoes? Little flying insects that bite you and suck out your blood?" I asked. Thor shook his head. "Gnats? Horseflies? Wasps? Fleas or ticks? Any kind of biting or stinging insect?"  
  
"Not that I'm aware of," Thor answered.   
  
"OK, one more thing," I said. "Can I go live in Asgard with you??"   
  
This remark drew a smirk out of the Asgardian prince. But that smirk was soon replaced with a scowl and an annoyed grunt as the fly took more interest in his face. "Leave me alone, you infernal creature!" he shouted.   
  
"It's just a fly, Thor," I said. "They're relatively harmless."  
  
"Harmless? Ha!" Thor said. "The very sound it emits is enough to drive a god mad! What is it anyway? A demon?"  
  
I laughed. "Not in the literal sense, no. However, it is a bit demon-like, only because it does nothing to help humanity and is only an annoying pest."  
  
"Like a trickster?"  
  
"Kind of, yes. Unfortunately the only way to get it to stop is to kill it."  
  
"My pleasure!" Thor said, lifting Mjolinir up in his hand, ready to smite the fly should it get too close.  
  
"Whoa! Easy there, big guy!" I said as I gently placed my hand on his arm, encouraging him to lower it. "Thankfully we won't be needing any magical hammers to do the job. To kill a fly, we need a different weapon; a flyswatter."   
  
I turned and walked into the kitchen. Now, where did Jane keep the flyswatter? Eventually I found it hanging on the wall next to the refrigerator. Grabbing it, I walked back to the living room.  
  
Thor cocked an eyebrow when he looked at the flyswatter. "That is an unusual weapon."  
  
"Unusual, but effective," I replied. "In the right hands. Observe."  
  
I raised the flyswatter and eyed the fly as it flew around the room and eventually started buzzing in front of my face.  
  
"Um, (Y/N), I believe that to use a weapon you have to  _do_  something with it," Thor said.  
  
"I  _am_ doing something; I'm waiting. It takes a lot of skill, patience, good aim and sheer dumb luck to kill a fly. Now shush!"  
  
The fly continued to buzz around in front of our faces. Thor watched it with a growing irritation as I held my breath with the flyswatter still raised.  
  
"(Y/N)?"  
  
"Shh!"  
  
The fly eventually landed on the coffee table in-between Thor and I.  
  
"(Y/N)!"  
  
"Ssssshhhhhh!"  
  
WHAM!   
  
In a flash the flyswatter came down hard on the table and the fly was lying shriveled and lifeless on the surface. Thor's eyes widened as he first looked at the dead fly then up at me.   
  
"That was magnificent!" he praised. "Where did you learn to wield that weapon so masterfully?"  
  
"On my own and with a lot of practice over the years," I answered. "So, not masterful, but decent."   
  
"Regardless, you are clearly skilled with that weapon. I've never seen such speed! You must teach me how to wield it as skillfully as you can."   
  
I couldn't help but laugh. If I had known that staying behind to keep Thor company while Jane and the others went out for the day would be this entertaining, I would have volunteered to do it all the time! Jane had told me about Thor before but I hadn't gotten the chance to meet him until about a week ago when he decided to stay at the house with Jane, Darcy, Dr. Selvig and I while he spends time on Earth, or Midgard, as he called it, to look after things for a bit.  Now I was getting a lot of him at once. I don't think I've had this much fun since the last time Dr. Selvig had one glass too many. This so-called Son of Odin clearly didn't completely understand the ways of humans yet. I mean, really, who would ever be  _that_  impressed by a flyswatter? At least my time with Thor wouldn't be boring.   
  
"Well," I said. "There's not much to know. You just wait and smack. Got it?"   
  
I handed Thor the flyswatter. "Is that all?" he asked, cocking another eyebrow.   
  
"You also have to aim," I replied. "But that's usually 80% luck. The important thing is to be patient."  
  
"That's not one of my strongest skills," Thor admitted.   
  
"Well, it's gonna have to be if you want to master the art of the flyswatter."  
  
Thor gave me a disbelieving look. "(Y/N), are you sure this is the proper way to learn how to wield this....flyswatter? It doesn't seem like a very able technique to learn it."  
  
"Yeah, that's why you practice, Blondie," I said. "Which you're about to get a chance to do. Heads up, it sounds like our uninvited guest brought a friend." I tilted my head in the direction of the faint buzzing sound that was coming from the other side of the room. Thor did the same.  
  
"Oh no! Another one?" he said. "How many of these creatures exist on your world?"  
  
"Thousand. Millions. I don't really know. They breed relentlessly and for some reason, most of them like to gather in this house. So be ready."   
  
Thor nodded and clutched the flyswatter as if he was holding a sword with two hands, making me chuckle and shake my head. Our gaze soon followed the second fly that was buzzing near the ceiling above our heads, just out of our reach. It took a few minutes before the fly finally flew down just within range.  
  
"Now, remember Thor," I said. "We must be patie-"  
  
"DIE, DEMON!!!" Thor shouted as he lunged forward and started swatting at the fly blindly with the flyswatter.  
  
I jumped back at Thor's outburst and just stood there, watching the mighty god of thunder fail in killing one fly. "Patience is not one of his strongest skills, huh?" I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Yeah, I would  _never_ be able to figure that one out."  
  
"Stay still, I need to crush you!" Thor shouted at the fly.   
  
"Um, Thor? It's usually a lot easier if you  _wait_ until the fly lands on a hard surface before you try to kill it."  
  
"Enough!" Thor shouted. "I can take no more of this demon's cursed buzzing! I'm taking care of this now!" With that, Thor walked over to the couch and picked up Mjolinir before swinging around and aiming at the fly.  
  
"Thor!" I said as I once again grabbed his arm and somehow managed to get him to lower the hammer. "I said no magical hammers! Why don't you let me take care of this one for you?" I took the flyswatter from Thor's hand and followed the fly as it buzzed around the window. I waited, and waited, and waited until the fly finally landed on the glass pane and I waited as it just sat there.  
  
WHAM!   
  
The flyswatter went down hard on the glass. I looked around to see if I could find the fly's corpse lying around.  
  
"Did I get him?" I asked. Then I heard that irritating buzzing sound that got deafeningly loud as the fly buzzed right up to my ear, as if it was taunting me and laughing at my failure to kill it. Then, the buzzing faded away in the distance. "Where'd he go?" I asked.  
  
"It flew over there," Thor said, pointing to the wall by the bookshelf.  
  
I looked to where he was pointing and saw the fly perched on the wall, without a care in the world.  
  
"Stupid fly!" I muttered. "You're mine!"   
  
I walked, or bounded over to wall then slowed down so my movements wouldn't alert the fly to my presence.  
  
WHAM!   
  
The flyswatter hit the wall with force and speed. But I had missed the fly again!  
  
"Oh, pretty poor aim there, (Y/N)," Thor said bluntly.   
  
I turned and glared at him. "Wow, you're such a big help!" I said sarcastically.   
  
This drew a chuckle out of the Asgardian prince, whose anger and impatience seemed to have disappear. At least he was enjoying himself. Yippie for him!   
  
I looked around, trying to find the fly again. I got my answer in the most satisfying way when Thor suddenly ducked quickly and started rubbing his forehead.  
  
"It struck me!" he shouted. "That beast dared to strike the Son of Odin!"  
  
"What can I say, Thor?" I said with a grin. "It likes you." Thor let out a huff at that remark which drew a chuckle out of me. Then I stopped. "Shh." I said, pointing to the coffee table. Thor looked and saw the fly perched on the surface of the coffee table not that far from the corpse of its fallen friend.   
  
I tiptoed over to the table as quietly as I could with the flyswatter raised. Thor did the same, which was a comical sight. We stood next the table watching the fly, Thor on one side and me on the other. The fly stood motionless, as if it either saw us there and froze in fright or it was oblivious to our presence.   
  
WHAM!   
  
The flyswatter struck the table hard and the fly was struck with it. It was laying on the table stunned and twitching but still very much alive. It moved a bit as it tried to get back up.  
  
"Oh no you don't!" I said as I slammed the flyswatter down on the fly two more times until it lay completely shriveled and motionless, as dead as its friend. I looked up at Thor. "I hate flies! Especially that one!" I pointed to the dead fly that I had just killed.  
  
"Agreed," Thor said.

 ***** Just then, there came a knock at the door. Giving Thor a surprised look, I walked out into the foyer and peeked through the door's peephole.

Standing outside was the 90-something year old Man who lived across the street, wearing his usual semi-dark sunglasses.   
  
I sucked in a deep inhale and opened the door, putting on my brightest smile. "Hi!"  
  
"Hi," the Old Man said in his usual gravelly voice. "Is everything OK over here? We could hear shouting from all the way across the street."  
  
"Oh, yeah, everything's fine," I reassured. "We were just trying to kill a fly."  
  
"Ah!" the Old Man said, as if that wasn't the strangest answer. "That's certainly explains a lot. Well, good luck!" With that, he turned and left.   
  
I watched him as he crossed the street, smiling to myself and shaking my head. I closed the door and returned to the living room, where Thor was waiting, looking around nervously as if he was expecting another fly to show up.  
  
"Well, that was embarrassing," I said. "I wonder if he believed me."  
  
Thor's eyes scanned me from head to foot and an amused smile spread across his face. "Looking as you do, I'd be surprised if he did believe you. You look as if you just fought a mighty battle," he said with a laugh. *****

I turned and caught a glimpse of my reflection in the hallway mirror. Thor was right. My hair was ruffled and my t-shirt as twisted and skewed as I clutched the flyswatter in my hand, like how Thor usually held Mjolinir. My nostrils were flaring, I was breathing heavily and I had a wild look in my eyes, like a bull chasing a matador. Seeing myself, I started to laugh.  
  
"I guess I do a little," I said. "However, if I had I mostly would be covered in gashes and bruises."  
  
"Not if you are an Asgardian," Thor stated. I rolled my eyes. "You fought well today, just so you know. You're an courageous warrior, skilled and worthy to be honored by the gods of Asgard."  
  
I stared at him, not entirely sure how to respond to that. "You know, sometimes I really can't tell whether you're joking or not."  
  
Before Thor could make a reply, there was a click and the sound of the door being opened. A moment later Jane, Darcy and Dr. Selvig all came pouring into the house. They stopped when they saw Thor and I standing in the living room.  
  
"What on Earth happened to you two?" Darcy asked.  
  
Thor and I looked at each other before looking back at the trio. "It was a fly," I replied.  
  
"A fly?" Jane asked.  
  
"Yes, a fly," I said.  
  
"Not even an army of flies?" Darcy asked. "Just one fly?"  
  
"Just one fly," Thor said.  
  
"It must have been a pretty big fly," Jane said.  
  
"Not big," Thor said. "Just really.....aggressive."  
  
I lowered my head and bit my lip to avoid laughing, which I really felt like doing at the moment.  
  
"OK...." Jane said.  
  
"Ladies," Dr. Selvig said. "I believe this is our cue to just walk away."  
  
"Good idea," Jane said.  
  
"Already walking," Darcy said as she and the others walked down the hall and out of sight.  
  
Thor and I looked at each other, the two of us smirking as we tried to hold back our laughter.  
  
"I'm just going to...go see if they need any help," Thor said as he turned and left the living room.  
  
Finding myself alone, I exhaled loudly and leaned back, looking up at the ceiling.  
  
"Wow," I said. "That.....was.....awesome!" 

**Author's Note:**

> Edit: 5/24/2019  
> Following the passing of Stan Lee, I realized that this story was missing a Stan Lee cameo, which is just wrong in so many ways. So I went back and added one in, which is encircled by asterisks. I have also decided that from now on, all my Marvel stories will have a Stan Lee cameo in them, to honor our ever-present Watcher. 
> 
> Rest in Peace, Mr. Lee. We all miss you. Excelsior!


End file.
